There are some people who just seem to be surrounded by bullies wherever they go. Whether it’s at the office, in social situations or just when shopping in the local mall, these people feel that they can’t avoid verbal attacks and intrigues from others around them that make their daily lives miserable.
Some of these people have even felt so emotionally battered that they have completely abandoned attempts to find happiness or enjoy life as it was meant to be enjoyed because of all the slugs or negative factors thrown their way every day in work and in life.
Finding yourself on the receiving end of verbal attacks from your co-workers or your boss can be extremely embarrassing, even if you know it’s not really about you but rather something else like a problem in the relationship between two other co-workers or your boss and his boss.
Many times, those with the power to fire or demote you can use their position to strike fear into you simply through their tone of voice or choice of words, letting you know that they are not afraid to make changes and that they are in control of your fate and livelihood!
Here are some tips to help you avoid verbal attacks, intrigues and slugs in workplace or in office
1) Don't take it personally
If you’re being attacked verbally at work or at the office, don't take it personally. The person who's attacking you might be having a bad day, or they might be feeling insecure about their own abilities.
It's important not to take it too personally. Remember that these people are usually struggling with something themselves and may just need someone to talk to about their feelings. But if there is no improvement in behavior, bring up your concerns with your supervisor.
2) Don't engage
Don't engage with the person who is verbally attacking you. It's a natural reaction to want to defend yourself or get back at the person who's hurting you. But this will only make the situation worse.
Remember that time is on your side: if you don't react, eventually they'll get bored with the game and stop the attack. And if they don't stop, then it may be time for a meeting with your boss or human resources.
If you're dealing with someone who's high up in your company (say, an executive), find out from someone else how he usually behaves when he gets into one of these moods. If he seems pretty reasonable most of the time but has occasional mood swings, try staying away from him when he does act out and just ask him politely what you can do for him instead.
3) Keep your cool
Remember that the person attacking you is looking for a reaction, so if you don't engage they will eventually get bored and move on.
If they continue to attack you though, then by all means defend yourself. Try not to come off as confrontational or aggressive because this can provoke more verbal attacks.
The best way to win an argument with someone who wants nothing more than your attention is not give them any.
4) Choose your battles
If you find that your coworkers are always trying to start an argument with you or challenging you for no reason, it's time to take a step back and figure out why they're doing this.
You may have unintentionally done something that has offended them without realizing it. Get their opinion on the situation before making any more big decisions so that you don't make the situation worse.
Once you've figured out the root of their annoyance, try apologizing and working on fixing the problem. When you choose your battles wisely, conflicts will be less likely to happen again.
5) Stand up for yourself
If you find yourself the victim of verbal attacks or intrigues, try to stand up for yourself. It's important to show that you are not intimidated by the person who is attacking you.
If they're bringing up things from your past that make you uncomfortable, feel free to ask them why they think it's relevant. Or if they're attacking your work ethic or credentials then be sure to remind them of your accomplishments. You don't have to take their abuse!
They may have a more difficult time firing you, as well. Remember that these people are likely trying to intimidate you. Try not to let them get away with it.
6) Set boundaries
It's important that you are clear about what behavior is acceptable to you, which behaviors will be met with consequences (e.g., not getting a desired outcome or favor), and how you want people to treat you.
People will respect your boundaries if they know what they are! Remember that setting boundaries can only work if you are consistent in enforcing them. Finally, set an example for others by following the same rules of conduct when interacting with them.
7) Seek professional help
If you find yourself frequently the victim of these verbal attacks, intrigues or slugs, then it might be time to see a counsellor or therapist. They can provide professional insight into how you're dealing with people at work. You may not even realize that your reactions are largely due to old habits that have been reinforced through the years.
Once they've helped you recognize your triggers, they can teach you different ways to react so that future encounters are easier on you. There is no reason why you should stay stuck in an unhappy place because of others. Seeking professional help is one way to take care of yourself while also giving someone else a chance to do the same for you.
8) Avoid toxic workplaces
Your workplace should be a safe haven. It should be a place where you feel like you can thrive without feeling fearful of the people around you. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Toxic workplaces abound in many different environments.
These simple steps will help keep you from getting caught up in an unhealthy work situation that could result in a toxic workplace for everyone involved.