In modern days, you can approach any girl of your liking at any time and in any manner you deem fit. This is not what obtained in times past when tradition and customs held sway. In those days, there are processes that you will need to follow before you can make a girl to take interest in you and want to marry you. In those days, it was a family thing and not just a business for an individual since it is believed that it is your family that is marrying that girl and not only you.

However, people of igboland have been able to blend modernity with tradition to arrive at a very beautiful outcome that represents what obtains in Igbo tradition; wedding these days. If you are new to how igbos carry out their tradition wedding, the information provided here can guide you on how to do that. 

Continue reading to learn more about the many features that make igbo traditional wedding really unique and interesting.

Festive celebration

Igbo traditional wedding is always colorful and a festive. It is a family business too and is never taken lightly.  There are also four main parts of the celebration and they are highlighted below:

·         Marriage inquiry  by the family of the groom called Iju Ese or Iku Aka

·         Consent seeking by the groom’s family from the bride’s family via the extended family called Umunna.

·         Negotiation and payment of bride price called Ime Ego.

·         The wine carrying ceremony  by the bride also called Idu Uno or Igba Nkwu Nwanyi

The groom can only take his bride home after all the steps have been completed.  We are going to consider each of the points in the remaining part of this write-up.

Iku aka or marriage enquiry

In today’s world, the man kneels before the girl to propose to her. This method is not recognized at all by the Igbo tradition. If you are interested in a girl, what you have to do as the man, according to the Igbo tradition is to visit the family house of the girl with your father and some other family members to intimate the girl’s family.

This step of the traditional marriage rite does not require you to bring anything along to the girl’s family house. However, you may decide to take along items like kola nuts and hot drinks as goodwill.

While at the girl’s house, the father of the groom will be the one to do the talking. The father is expected to introduce himself and all those with him to the girl’s family and also let them know that his son is interested in their daughter.  

The girl’s parent will then call her to ask her if she also has an interest in the man. They can only proceed with the bride price negotiation if the girl responds positively.

Consent seeking from the family

The next step involves a proper investigation of the groom’s family by the bride’s family.  The girl’s family wants to know about the history of the groom’s family, including fertility, divorce, bad behaviors, hereditary illnesses and so on. This will enable them to find out if the man can successfully take good care of their daughter and their future children.

After they have conclude on their investigation, it is time to move to the next thing on the agenda, which will be to set up a meeting between the two families. This time around, a larger number of families from both sides will be involved. 

These extended family members are referred to as Umunna.  The purpose of the meeting is to give the groom’s family to state in clearer terms that they are truly interested in marrying the girl.

This is when the bride’s family will give their final consent to the marriage and give wedding date. It is also when the bride list will be presented to the groom’s family.  The groom can also bear some gifts when coming for the meeting, which can include items like a goat, snuff, tobacco, soft drinks, beer, wine, palm wine and kola nuts.  The gift items will then be shared among members of the bride’s family.

Bride price negotiation

This aspect of the entire process is equally important and even considered as the most important of all the processes since it can determine the final outcome of everything. This is the stage where the bride price is negotiated by both families. 

After the negotiation has been accepted, payment can now be made by the groom’s family. The content of the engagement list differs from one family to another and from one Igbo community to another.

The pride price itself may not be much, but the other items included in the engagement list are usually financially hefty.  All these items will be presented to the bride’s family by the groom’s family. The process can be hectic for both families. In order to convince the groom’s family why this should part with such a huge number of gifts, the bride’s family can start listing the accomplishments of their daughter.

Wine carrying ceremony

After the engagement list has been agreed upon, it is time to proceed to the next level, which is the wine-carrying ceremony.  This can be called Ido Uno or Kwa Nwayi.  It represents the last section of the entire traditional marriage rites.  The ceremony will take place in the bride’s home and her family will provide feeding for all invited guests.  

The bride to be will dress gorgeously for the occasion and her dress usually includes a blouse, double wrappers, beads necklace and a head tie, which usually matches the color of the double wrappers.  She may equally wear on her head a cap made with beads.

A large number of people come to the ceremony with the groom and this is when he will bring the bride price list and present it to the Umunna before they start the ceremony.

The pride will point to the person she wants to marry among the groom’s family and this marks the beginning of the ceremony.  Prayers will be offers in the traditional way by the bride’s father and she will be given a cup of palm wine to present to the groom.  Afterwards, prayers are offered for the bride and groom by the bride’s family. This marks the end of the entire process.