The Benin kingdom is one of the most famous in ancient Africa.  While the British might have defeated the kingdom, the British had not been able to defeat its culture and tradition. One of the many cultures that set the Benin kingdom apart is the culture surrounding its marriage rites.

This is highly regarded throughout the kingdom and it is followed religiously by the couple getting g wedded.  There are three stages in the life of a man, vis-à-vis his naming ceremony, his birth ceremony, his wedding and funeral. Among the three, he is only fully participatory at his wedding.

So, the wedding ceremony should be done satisfactorily and made memorable, which is one of the reasons why the Benin kingdom native law and custom emphasis on making wedding ceremonies memorable.

The family is recognized by Benin culture as the foundation of the community and a wedding ceremony signifies the beginning of a new family. A family is expected to imbibe values and norms in the lives of the children from that family and this can affect their viewpoint about the world around them, as well as, inform their social behaviors.

In the remaining part of this write-up, we will show you some of the unique features of the Benin native law and a customs as regards traditional marriage rites.

Traditional marriage rite in being kingdom

The process of marriage usually starts from birth in ancient times. Once a female child is born, the parents of another male child in the community would betroth her to their son, which means that the two of them would get married by the time they grow up.

To symbolize this, the family of the male child would bring gifts of different types to the family of the newly born female child, like firewood and so on. If the family of the female child accepted the proposal, they would collect the gifts on behalf of their newly born daughter. The family of the male child would also be responsible for catering to the needs of the girl until she is ripe enough for marriage.

The modern dating process

Things have changed a great deal these days.  Parents rarely marry wives for their sons anymore and it is mostly the responsibility of the man or woman to choose a wife or a husband for him or herself.  

When a man sees a woman he likes, he approaches her to discuss his intention with her. If she agrees, the two of them would start dating and this gives them the opportunity to study each other and know if they are compatible or not.

If the man thinks the woman is compatible and he will like to marry her, he will invite her to come and meet his parents.  He too will go to meet the girl’s parents. He does not have to take any gift along with him at this first visit.

Then on the next visit, if he has made up his mind to marry the girl, he can bring some of his family members and some gifts to the girl’s parents. Then a date would be selected to a proper introduction by both parents so that they can meet a larger section of both families.

The introduction will enable the family members to know if they are related by blood since blood relatives are not allowed to get married to each other in the Benin kingdom.  Aside from blood relationship, the female will also investigate if any of the families have bad traits or behaviors.

In times past in the Benin Kingdom, the families would first consult the oracle to know if their child is making the right choice of a marriage partner.  They would want to find out if there was any curse on the other family and then attempt to break the curse before such a marriage can proceed.

Traditional marriage rites

If there are no issues detected following the investigations carried out by the families of the intended marriage partners, then the traditional marriage plans can proceed. It begins with the family of the intended bride compiling a list of items required for the girl’s dowry and forwards it to the groom’s family.  The family of the bride will also notify the family of the groom about a date convenient for the tradition marriage.

The dowry in a Benin traditional marriage includes the follow gin items:

·         Salt

·         Honey

·         Sugar

·         Palm oil

·         Yams

·         Palm wine

·         Twelve pounds and 10 shillings, which was equally to 25 Naira as at the time this information was revealed.

Some families may ask for more items, while some other families may not. So, the quantity of these items and the inclusion of other items depend on the families involved.

On the day agreed for the wedding, the groom will be expected to arrive with his friends and family members at the bride’s family house. The visitors will then be welcomed and offered drinks by a girl from the bride’s family. The bride’s family will equally offer prayers.

After that, the oldest male in the bride’s family will take over the proceedings as master of ceremony and spokesman for the bride’s family, while the groom’s family will also come with their own spokesman.  The eldest male is called the Okaegbe.

The groom’s Okaegbe will then state the reason for the visit and the bride’s Okaegbe will reply as demanded by customs.

The various young girls in the bride’s family will be paraded one by one in front of the grooms’ family and they will be asked to select their bride among the maidens.  Once the groom chooses his bride, she will be led to where the groom’s family sits and her dowry will then be presented to her. The bride’s family’s spokesman will then hand the bride over to the groom’s father, after which the father hands the bride over to his son.

This symbolizes that the bride has now become a fulltime member of the groom’s family. Entertainment of guests can now follow after this ceremony. These days, the bride and groom may decide to go for Christina or Islamic wedding ceremonies before they conclude their wedding. It is after this that the bride will move to the groom’s house as his wife.   

           

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